Yesterday's prompt for Augusts Tarot challenge is "How can I embrace my body and my sexuality?"
Look at all that baggage! So much conflict and strife within one reading, and its totally accurate. On one side of the reading there is celebration and plenty, adoration almost; on the other side there is chosen poverty, loss, and disappointment. Do you want to talk about life after/with an eating disorder, because this is what it looks like; success and sometimes feel like failures, and failures like a success. Define and apply those terms any way, every way, yes.
I left this reading and came back to it several times, I filled many journal pages, I prayed about it, I napped about it, and I still feel everything. But I'm not going to take you on that ring around. I'm going to cut right through and get to the nugget of truth on the inside of the bullshit. Join me.
We need to hash out this conflict, first and forever. Grey skies and clear, wealth and poverty, joy and sullenness. You know what we've got to do with dichotomies don't you? We narrow that gap.
How? Start with Accepting. Accept that my body will disappoint me. It will get sick and age. It will be soft where I wish it wasn't. It will be stiff when I want it to flow. Accept that the creases under my eyes appear to be here to stay. Accept my tummy, my arms. Accept that this is my subconscious's attempt to communicate with me, using the physical body as a metaphor because its still uncomfortable with its unpracticed language of healing. It is not about creases or jiggles. It is about perceived worth and survival, with a little bit of creepy religious penance thrown in for good measure. Accept what is, and what is not.
How? Start with Accepting. Accept that my body will disappoint me. It will get sick and age. It will be soft where I wish it wasn't. It will be stiff when I want it to flow. Accept that the creases under my eyes appear to be here to stay. Accept my tummy, my arms. Accept that this is my subconscious's attempt to communicate with me, using the physical body as a metaphor because its still uncomfortable with its unpracticed language of healing. It is not about creases or jiggles. It is about perceived worth and survival, with a little bit of creepy religious penance thrown in for good measure. Accept what is, and what is not.
But above and beyond and through all, accept that recovery is a cycle. It is not linear. And it may go round and round like this for the rest of my life. So ease in and get comfy with it. Get to know it so that the next time it comes around I can be ready with an extra place setting at the table.
The medicinal qualities of Cattails are off the chart, making it a remarkable first aid herb. The pollen has hemostatic actions when place in a cut, and blood moving properties when taken internally. The sticky gum at the base of the leaves is antiseptic and even numbing. Cattail says I need to triage. SOS, STAT. Time to clean the wound and stop the bleeding. Goldenrod has the same medical potency, though it's healing action is for the long term. (this is an echo of Jera, the middle Rune of the central three, who says that living in the present and doing the work in the present lays a strong foundation for the future, and not to forget that this is WHY you're doing todays good work). The Latin name is Solidago, from the word Soldare, meaning "to make whole". To. make. whole! Are you kidding me?? That's amazing. Goldenrod has been stalking me the last few weeks since I watched a bumble bee visit each flower while listening to Thich Nhat Hanh talk about second body practice, and it's time to take its message to heart.
The medicinal qualities of Cattails are off the chart, making it a remarkable first aid herb. The pollen has hemostatic actions when place in a cut, and blood moving properties when taken internally. The sticky gum at the base of the leaves is antiseptic and even numbing. Cattail says I need to triage. SOS, STAT. Time to clean the wound and stop the bleeding. Goldenrod has the same medical potency, though it's healing action is for the long term. (this is an echo of Jera, the middle Rune of the central three, who says that living in the present and doing the work in the present lays a strong foundation for the future, and not to forget that this is WHY you're doing todays good work). The Latin name is Solidago, from the word Soldare, meaning "to make whole". To. make. whole! Are you kidding me?? That's amazing. Goldenrod has been stalking me the last few weeks since I watched a bumble bee visit each flower while listening to Thich Nhat Hanh talk about second body practice, and it's time to take its message to heart.
Each Rune says in turn to accept life and fate and that some things are just the way they are, and then they each say "But don't forget to do your magic, do your work, you're responsible for your own manifestations."
The first, Elhaz/Algiz is about courage in the face of fear, and this is key, because you have to know if you need to flee, fight, or if you just need to chill and breathe. It is a powerful teaching force should one choose to open that chapter, and can connect you with the Divine in the world around you and yourself, if you're into that sort of thing.
The first, Elhaz/Algiz is about courage in the face of fear, and this is key, because you have to know if you need to flee, fight, or if you just need to chill and breathe. It is a powerful teaching force should one choose to open that chapter, and can connect you with the Divine in the world around you and yourself, if you're into that sort of thing.
The third Rune, Nyd, is about Need, and our complicated relationships with our own. It is resistance, struggle, effort. It is trying to start a fire with two sticks on a cold day when it starts to rain. Its kind of dismal. It looks a lot like that failure card; all the effort, all the dreams. But all is not lost. Don't forget that without resistance form would fall about, and that's science my friend. This is not bad, rather it is a force that, when understood, can actually function as a means to protect and meet these needs. But the first step is to accept the process. Sometimes its raining, and all you have is two sticks to start the fire; don't fight it just get to it.
Jera, the central Rune, patient and steady. The Taurus Rune (if you as me, that's not actually what it is). Harvest from right action; you did good work, and you will reap the rewards, but in a real mundane and ordinary way. Like you planted a seed and now you have a fruit. But don't mistake the amazingness of this. Just like first you triage, then you work on a long term plan towards healing, first you plant the seed, then you harvest food for the winter. This is nothing short of a miracle. This Rune too is about cycles and seasons, but not in a time sort of way; this is the inhale and exhale, this is the heartbeat, the biorhythms, dawn and dusk, menstruation, gestation, sleep, awake. The force of Jera is slow and unstoppable. It is not sudden, you cannot force it. It is best to make small changes that can be sustained daily. Practice the language of healing and recovery. Practice the patterns of self care and acceptance. Work your magic every day. And breathe. And breathe.
-A.H.
