Day 1; June 26, 2013

The internal resistance that wells up at the slightest imposing of rules or regimen, even the self imposed, would be impressive if it wasn't so annoying. My whole attitude yesterday was "but I don't waaaaant to". Cue whining. Digging in of heels. Excuses excuses.

That being said, the day went swimmingly. I slept till I wasn't sleeping anymore and woke to the smell of coffee and my husband, rubbing my back and singing to me softly (I don't remember all the words, something about coffee, and waking up so we could watch RuPaul's Drag Race.) I eased into waking. I ate breakfast (bowl of granola and almond milk). I drank my coffee. I watched 3 episodes of Drag Race.

We spent the day drifting from one activity to the next; We did yoga in the park

It was the first time we've done yoga in a public setting without the armor of a class around us. It was a bit awkward at first, and our first postures were stilted. It wasn't the most purely meditative setting, but perhaps that was better for me because I loved it. Children running past singing the first few notes of the Lion King, dogs and their I.D. tags jingling past like summer sleigh bells, in the palm tree above us pigeons building a nest; their soft happy cooing and the narrow swoop, inches above our heads, carrying softer twigs from the neighboring trees. The warm sunlight. The cool breeze. I felt so relaxed, so happy. 

The asanas were restful ones, mostly seated and laying down, focused on stretching and breathing. 

Later we went to Flora Grub and talked to plants, then we went to the Green Apple Book store where outside a movie was being filmed (called The Quitters. We aren't in it but we did pet the dog while he was waiting for his call) and found my coffee shop

Peekaboo Macaroooons!

Food; Three meals two snacks? check.

           Apple juice (glutahione) coconut water (electrolytes) Black Strap Molasses (iron)

           Almond Butter Sammich in the park after yoga (PICNIC HOLLER!!! (tree nuts are high in l-tryptophan, magnesium, and calcium. (l-tryp = serotonin woopwoop))

           Big Salad including radishes, cucumber, lettuce, kale, hummus, cheese, olive oil, 1 garlic clove, broccoli (there we got the B vitamins going on, folate, vit C, l-tryp, glutahione, iron, magnesium, calcium. literally everything except the zinc. high fives for everyone)

           Salmon and Potatoes for dinner (omega 3's, B's, l-tryp, glutahione,)

           Nectarine + Macaroons, for snacks.

Anxiety; waves through the day, peaked at around 8:30 when we were coming home. 7 out of 10.

Depression; waves throughout the day, consistently reaching 6.5 out of 10.
E.D. thoughts; only when recounting the list of food I ate. 4 out of 10. Not bad. 

Watch for resistance. Listen for the protest. That is your clue. That is what you need the most. For me, that stubborn spot is meditation and breathing. Yesterday I wouldn't do it. There wasn't even a portion of me that attempted to reason with the protester. At every gentle suggest made by my helpful husband I answered flatly, wringing my hands and staring blankly at the wall "not now."

So there it is. Goal for tomorrow; Turning inward. Breathing. And better quality pictures. 

-A.